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Doctor speaks about slaying husband
Comments on being in abusive relationship
Boston Globe
August 24, 2007

By Brian R. Ballou

BROCKTON -- Cape Cod doctor Ann Gryboski spoke publicly yesterday for the first time since fatally shooting her husband in self-defense last April, saying that she is relieved she won't have to face a trial and that she looks forward to returning to her practice.

Last Friday, a grand jury decided not to charge Gryboski, 51, with the slaying of her husband -- Patrick Lancaster, 50 -- in their Barnstable home. Witnesses testified that he had physically and psychologically abused her for more than 20 years, sometimes leaving visible scars on her face or body and often berating her at gatherings.

"Once in an abusive relationship, no one can simply just leave," Gryboski said, appearing stoic as she sat next to her attorney, Kevin Reddington, in his Brockton office. She read from a three-page statement.

"Fortunately, most do not need to defend themselves and their family in the manner that I had to," Gryboski said. "Sadly, too many are seriously injured or murdered. Many more continue to live in fear and harm's way, whether they stay or leave."

Gryboski paused momentarily, then sobbed as she said, "My husband had tried to get help several years ago, and he did make some positive changes for a time, but he did not continue with his counseling." She declined to take questions after her statement and left the room, leaving Reddington to field questions.

"She did not hate him," Reddington said. "She tried to do what she could to get him the help he needed. She tried to guide him."

While the physical abuse went unnoticed by Gryboski's family, they were aware of the psychological torment he had inflicted on her, Reddington added.

"This was private abuse, but the bruises were there, the bruises and the fractured teeth," he said. "Even though they lived a life, they had a home, and neighbors they talked with, there was a dark side."

Gryboski practiced in South Yarmouth. Last September, Lancaster became a senior lab technician at the US Merchant Marine Academy on Long Island.

Lancaster and Gryboski were teenagers when they met in Lexington; they went to their high school prom together. He continued to court her when they attended colleges in different states, and in 1979, they wed in a small ceremony.

Soon thereafter, according to prosecutors, the abuse started. Lancaster told Gryboski that he would hurt her, their children, and any police who responded if she called for help. She told her coworkers and friends that her black eyes and other facial injuries were the result of playing basketball with her sons.

According to prosecutors, on April 7, the night before Easter Sunday, Lancaster and Gryboski drove home with their 2-year-old-grandson after leaving a family dinner with their 25-year-old son, Christopher, and his fiancée. As Gryboski drove, Lancaster punched her repeatedly in the face, angry that she had not left the restaurant quickly enough. She tried to put up her hand to protect her face, but Lancaster ordered her to put it down and continued punching her.

The next day, Christopher and his fiancée arrived at his parent's house to pick up his daughter. After seeing the marks on his mother's face, Christopher confronted Lancaster, backed him into the kitchen, and threatened to slit his throat.

Gryboski took a pistol from her purse. Lancaster approached her and said: "You're so dead. You don't know what you started."

As he drew nearer, Gryboski fired at him once. He continued to approach, so she fired two more shots that hit him in the torso, prosecutors said.

Lancaster's family did not respond to repeated requests for an interview. Lancaster and his sons were hunters who kept rifles, and Gryboski sometimes transported the firearms in her car during hunting trips to Utah or Colorado. She had obtained a firearms identification card and a pistol permit.

According to Jane Doe Inc., a Massachusetts coalition against sexual assault and domestic violence, there have been 36 homicides or suicides as a result of domestic violence so far this year, 17 more than in 2005. Last year, there were 34.

Mary Lauby, the organization's executive director, stood near Gryboski yesterday as she spoke and afterward said that cases such as Gryboski's are often difficult to prove.

"When all of this comes together, it makes a difference," she said, referring to the work of Reddington and Cape and Islands District Attorney Michael O'Keefe. "Without it, it's a crapshoot, frankly."