Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Domestic Violence

One in four lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are battered by a partner. Yet this is an issue that is still in the "closet" for LGBT communities. Support services are available for those being battered. It is important to note that because Massachusetts has enacted a civil rights law that recognizes the individual rights regardless of one´s sexual orientation, restraining order laws in Massachusetts also apply to LGBT relationships.

Myths & Stereotypes

Myth #1- Domestic violence is very rare in LGBT relationships.

1 in 4 LGBT people are battered by a partner at some point in their life.

Domestic violence in LGBT communities is still a very closeted issue. Without information about domestic violence that reflects LGBT communities, many LGBT folks are unaware that battering happens in LGBT relationships and unable to recognize abuse in their own relationships.

Myth #2- There is no gender inequality in a same-sex relationship so it must be mutual abuse.

Battering is never mutual. By definition, one partner is using power to control their partner. Although the battered partner may fight back, there is a difference between self-defense and battering.

Myth #3- Women are safe and women-only space is safe because we don’t batter each other.

Women have been seriously injured or killed by their female partners.

Using the exclusion of men as the primary guarantee of safety creates a false sense of security. Women abused by other women may not be safe because their abuser can come and go without question.

This also ignores the ways in which women of dominant groups abuse other women through oppression (i.e. racism, classism, anti-Semitism)

Myth #4- It is easier for gay, bisexual men or transgender men to leave abusive relationships.

Gay, bisexual men and transgender men may have a more difficult time because society’s perception is that men are supposed to be able to take care of themselves, they are suppose to “roll with the punches”, and the way for men to deal with situations is through violence. This may make it harder for a man to recognize domestic violence in his relationship; in addition there are very few, if any, services for gay, bisexual, or transgender male survivors.

Myth #5- The partner who is bigger/stronger is the batterer.

Battering is about control, not size, strength, or who is “butch” or more “masculine”.

For resources for lesbian, gay, bisexual and and transgender violence, click here